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 我不知道我需要多长的时间才可以真正的把你忘记，我不知道我还是否有想你的勇气。但是，我知道我的这份爱，这份心痛，将会陪伴我一段很长很长的日子。 Easy&Simple. With♥, SERINE. NGMINFEI 谢谢你给我的一切 . Always had a place in my heart♥ |
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-disappoinment-
Tuesday, December 2, 2008 in a glance, many things have happen to me. & it've destroy my future & reputation in just a few seconds of action. who & what does i've to blame? fate? or myself indeed. as what my dear friends told me; it's not fate that decides my life. rather it's myself that have to decide the steps i've to take. i cant blame everything to fate. or always say 'zhuting de', 'bobians', 'budong'. have been going under alot of pressure this few days. but i've to face it happily. it's useless to brood over it when it've already happen. as what they told me. don't because of a small matter then always think of the negative side. i'll try look on the positive side ya. =) say seriously, i've been thinking of commiting suicide. but what's de use? death cant solve everything. & if just because of what i've did. in order to avoid it, i went to commit suicide. isn't it dumb? sometimes; i just feel damn tired luhs, everyday just getting worse & worse. felt like dying blahblahblah... but think back, it's just a useless comment. do i really dare to commit suicide; & faces death. hahas. that's a question. at least; i still knows that there are some good friends around(: thks for scolding me awake today in sch ya. especially huiqin & serene; u've always told me that u want to give up on me; but in the end. u still nvr. i might be indecisive in alot of stuffs. ending up to this path. & i've nt been going school often luhs. but still, thks for giving me advice. though i might sound silent; but i really gt listen. it's just that i dunno how to comment on it anymore. i know what i did, for u all is a big disappointment. & some might feel angry or think that im damn stupid luhs. but no matter what; i've to face the music ar. thanks the girls for still concern about me(: 我感觉到很安慰。 towards relationship-yiyang; feeling for you are still there. im trying not to give up. but still. i've to say that im used without you by my side. from that day. u told me ur sickness, everything have changed. not because feeling have fade? but.. i felt that it's really pointless. what we've been giving each other frm that day, only just attitudes. cold words. hurtful stuffs. it's totally different from the past. really.. i also hope to go back to the past, but wo men zuo de dao ma? i don't wish to drag it; end up hurting both of us even more. sometimes; i just felt that u don't give a damn to it anymore. even though u called me baby; but u know the feeling isnt there anymore? i've tried my best in this r/s luhs. it's nt that i want throw u or what. but have u seen my effort in it? & have u appreciate it? all u just knows to say is. im giving u cold attitude. i don't give a damn to this r/s. have u ever think of my feeling? it's u from the start that giving me cold attitude; i've been try to give in.. & did my best to qian jiu ni. but still; end up is just those hurtful words. whenever i feel like giving up; u tried to hold me back. i've feeling for you; i still love you. but..... it's really torturing being like this. frm the start till now, u don't bother to tell me how u feel towards anything. then u expect me to know what u're thinking? u said u wanted to be back to the past? -wouldnt it be what we wanted; or ended up same? the happiness... it's getting more & more far frm us le. does i really have to give up?- & stop loving you & just let the feeling fade aways itself?- i've no strength to think of this anymore le. it's real tiring to think about us everyday. 你说得对；我们彼此已变得无话可说了。 may u find your real happiness soon(: & recover soon yups. takecares. |
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