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 我不知道我需要多长的时间才可以真正的把你忘记，我不知道我还是否有想你的勇气。但是，我知道我的这份爱，这份心痛，将会陪伴我一段很长很长的日子。 Easy&Simple. With♥, SERINE. NGMINFEI 谢谢你给我的一切 . Always had a place in my heart♥ |
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Sunday, August 12, 2012
& hellos. I'm back again! Wonder how're you, & hungy ghost festival coming soon already .
Are you coming back to visit me? If yes, give me some hint okays ^~^
7th month of chinese calender, will I get to feel you? But definately, you're going to see me :)
Finally having a good mood for today/yesterday?
Felt a sense of relief in everything I do. Maybe I'd adapt much to all the things that I've been through.
Don't expect too much, to prevent a disappointment.
Everything. Just listen in & out. Though I still don't know who treat me real or fake. But I dont even bother already.
I just treat everyone the way I want to be treated. For them, none of my business.
I always believe in 'karma'
Been stressing myself so lately, till I get so fed-up & everything.
You're still my invisible sponge! Wonder how sponge come across? From my best friend/sister. My nickname actually. But they didnt know I got an invisible sponge.
Whether you're there or not, I just felt a sense of relieve when I talk in the air, or just by typing here.
It's time to make this blog alive, like so many months & months.
During this few months, had been going through alot.
Tried moving on, learnt alot of lessons, & seen the ugly-ness of human nature.
I just wish that nobody took me for granted, or even make use of me.
It's tough to handle so many things, when I ownself can't take stress anymore. But ya. I'll be strong:)
Misses, deeply from me. Must bless me okiedokie.  ...
Tuesday, August 7, 2012 
Watching the movie; I Miss You, really brings me back alot of memories.
I'd been diverting my attention to work & everything.
Even trying out a new relationship; putting down the past.
But I know clearly that, I cant get over you. Forever.
Nevertheless, I know it's not impossible; but I just cant.
The hurt that you caused by leaving me like this, is really unbearable.
Just like watching the movie today; brings me back all the pain & memories.
Of how I'm going through badly that 2years.
It's been 3 fucking years now.
In a few months time; it's going to be 4years that you'd left me on this world handling all this shits.
The loss of you; the loss of one guy; the loss of one friend; the loss of one son.
THE LOSS OF ONE LIFE JUST IN MY HANDS OR WORDS.
How I watch you die, How I hug you & begging you to come back, How helpless am I!
I'm not blaming you, I'm just blaming myself so fucking bad now.
After so long, the pain is still hurting so bad.
& today, right now; it hurt so bad.
I thought I'd let you go, but I'm wrong.
The ring that I've kept so long, is gone for a reason.
& I always tell myself you won't want to see me this way.
Even having a new boyfriend is not going to help, cause he cant even replace you.
Or maybe I'm just expecting too much; or I'm wishing to find another you.
I'll always think of this blog whenever I miss you. Cause I always wished that you could read it somewhere. Thou it might sounds so foolish. Even in heaven or just somewhere near me seeing me type all this.
I know you wouldn't come back anymore. I'd face the fact long ago.
From up above, you'd seen me how I lead my life during all this years. I cant be selfish to be even thinking of to die. & yet sometimes I felt so terrible that I feel like dying just to join you.
Tough times had gone by, but memories of us and that incident will never be erased from my mind.
& the guilt & regrets will never be gone.
I'm really sorry............
Wish for the impossible, waiting for a miracle to happen.
Even just for a dream, I'm contented enough.
I'll be strong, & I just haven't find the right guy yet.
Maybe till the day I can move on, & I'll bring the guy to see you :)
For now, I miss you and I love you from the bottom of my heart. xoxo
Thursday, November 10, 2011 It's been long since I've blogged isnt it. & I've so many issues in my mind now. Maybe I just need sometime to be alone for awhile & know what's going on with my life . sometimes, when I think back of that incident. I really wished , I'd died at that moment. & all this pain & suffering wouldnt even happen now. But if I choose to die now, I would be more selfish enough. Isnt it? I wished I could be happier, & just forget the past. But it hurts so badly till I really cant imagine how long can I take it? Ya, it's all in the mindset. & I just cant forget anything about it. Even, I'd tried to move on. Every guys seems the same to me. No-one would know exactly how I feels now. Even my bestfriend. Looking back all the pictures. & reading back all the posts. & it's really depressing. |
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